♥ Life never turns out the way you want it to be

♥Sunday, 30 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

The hols is over in a blink.. -_- i haven done much things..n one wk is over so fast..

Went chinese garden on tue to see lanterns..haha..lame rite...but the money is worth it cos got fireworks. My first time watching it right in front of me..cos i nv like going to NDP or going to esplanade there to squeeze with the crowd jus to watch fireworks.

Ytd played mahjong til tis morning..its been so long since i last played mahjong..manage to win 32 bucks..haha..

I jus cant c my future at all..no plans..no motivations..no road in front of me..

So tired nw..physically and mentally..

♥Blogged @

6:05 pm

♥Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

Last nite i had a weird dream..i dreamt of him after so long. In the dream, i was at thailand airport and he was there too with his family. I lost my passport and I cant tk the flight back to sg. In the next scene, i was walking on the streets looking for the place to make my passport and i saw him again but this time alone. Dunno what this whole dream is about..its onli about me meeting him again i guess.
Was wrking on sun nite..and i cried again. Luckily no one saw it. All of a sudden i feel so depressed at wrk. So tired and sick of everything and i jus wanted to cry. I cried when i was in bed after wrk. The next day i woke up my eyes is swollen again. Luckily my make up did manage to cover up the puffiness. Really dunno what is wrong with me this few days and i feel like slping n slping forever without waking up.. I am starting to feel that i am getting into a state of depression..
Life's a seat I wish I never sat in.

♥Blogged @

10:05 am

♥Sunday, 23 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

The hols is here..but i dun feel that its a hols. Been so stressed up lately that i dun feel like going to sch everyday. Haiz..whenever i get stressed up..i always try ways and means to escape. Y do i have to wrk so hard and make myself so stressed up with both sch and wrk when i can jus stick out my hand and ask my mum for money? I jus cant do that anymore cos my mum's back is giving her prob and i cant open my mouth to ask her for money even though i kno i cant cope with sch wrk very well.. =(
Fri was another clubbing nite with yippy and sylvia at phuture. That is the only nite of the week that i look forward to and the only time i can enjoy and relax i guess even though i kno i been spending alot of money on it. But if i coped myself up at home i will get mad one day. The whole place was so packed that sylvia went off after sometime while me n yippy carried on til we r real tired then we also left the place.
Ytd went to teach tuition for a new student. The student looks so cocky and half way through something cropped up and they jus cancel the tuition. Today the agency sms me told me that they dun wan to continue the tuition anymore. I am more than happy to oblige. Then at nite went with liwen for a drinking session at her fren hse. Her fren is so rich..lives in a bungalow and his family owns 2 cars. We played games n i keep losting n i think i am the one that drank the most. Now having hangover frm last nite. Later stil got to go wrk. Haiz..
I really feel like walking away frm my life now....
I seems to be upsetting alot of my frens lately..sorry if u r one of them..
I really dunno wat to do....i am so lost yet again with my life..Nothing seem to be right..
I donno how to make things right but only know how to cry to release the feeling in me..

*She walks along this lonely street, no one to dry her tears, massage her tired feet, or calm ever present fears*

*I mite be happy on the outside...but im crying on the inside*

*I've let the demons inside me get the best of me*

Lets paint a smile on my face and pretend like nothing is wrong just to please everyone else..

♥Blogged @

11:45 am

♥Sunday, 16 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

Wkend so fast over again.. =( Ytd went out with yippy they all for dinner at tcc..food and drinks okok onli. After tat, went to phuture with yippy again. Dance continuous for 4 hrs..really can lose weight like tat. Haha..So many weird ppl last nite..alot of blacks and uncles. -_- Luckily the two guys that dance with me is handsome de. Nv really c their face la but yippy say handsome de so i believe her. One is chinese one is angmoh. The chinese wanted to get my no. but i acted blur cos he abit touchy. Wahaha..I dont wan to dance with the ang moh one..but he somehow ask yippy if he can dance with me and jus entertain him a while.
Today went with my mum to a wedding lunch at civil servant club near westmall there. Its like i wanted to nua at hme but she came hme ard 12 then keep bugging me to accompany her go. Didnt regret going cos the food is nice de lo. The shark fin soup on normal table is like those shark fin soup for VIP table in ST lo, can really see the pieces of shark fin in the soup. The steamed prawns is big, juicy and fresh. The cold dish also nice cos got lobster. Still got suckling pig but didnt manage to ate it cos when the suckling pig is served, my mum relative came over and talk to me n my mum, then being a well mannered girl, i got to entertain her and yet drooling over the suckling pig. When she finished the conversation and i look back at the platter, the whole suckling pig is gone! Onli left the head!!! So my mum and i didnt get to eat it and my mum thought it was not served at all. So funny. Basically all the courses are quite delicious.
After that i went to watch a movie called Rogue Assassin. I can say it is quite a gd show although i seldom watch action movie. At first i was so slpy before the show but when the show started i got so tuned in to it cos every scene also quite exciting. The storyline turn out to be quite unexpected cos i thought it is jus a normal action movie. The ending is still abit ambiguous cos i dunno whether Jet Li is the guy called rogue or the FBI, Tom. Overall, the show is worth watching. Do watch it if u think there is no good show in the theatres lately.
I see a sore throat coming cos i swallow saliva abit pain. Gonna down alot of water tis few days.

12星座愛情禁忌篇
牡羊座 (mine)
別潑他冷水，小心愛情半路熄火。忌諱拖拖拉拉，他可能會半路開溜。別太煩人要有點黏又不會太黏。忌諱當悶葫蘆，有屁就要快放。最後記住太過主動只會壞事，這只會讓他們覺得喪失主導地位。

雙魚座 (ger)
無論如何你總得調查清楚了在決定要不要陷下去。無論是你錯還是他錯，都不必講理，太過講理只會讓他對你失去興趣，善用你的眼神！他總是少不了浪漫的滋潤，無論如何別對他表現出太現實的一面。雙魚男人很容易被勾引，要壯士斷腕或要苦守寒窯請自己決定。他做夢時千萬不要不識相的澆他冷水

處女座 (yippy)
工作第一愛情第二，千萬別無理取鬧要他蹺班陪你喝咖啡。柔情戰術不錯，但他不喜歡同儕壓力，這會讓他選擇撇清關係。口不擇言的女人他連碰都不碰，做事態度輕率的人會讓他逃之夭夭。他的心很脆弱，三兩天對他冷戰就會讓他以為你即將離他而去。別太輕易把分手說出口，他很容易相信的。

巨蟹座 (pig)
接近動作別太快，螃蟹可是很會裝害羞的，要溫柔的對待。他的情緒多變，妳最好以不變的關心應萬變，他喜歡互相關懷語照顧，忌諱漠不關心。他傳統很戀家，太外向的女子能吸引他但不一定能夠長久。可以說他不是，可以說他朋友的不是，千萬別說他家人的不是。他佔有慾太強除了你們的家人之外，最好是生人勿近。

12星座最傻的人
白羊座
这个星座个性天真像是小孩子一般，你说什么他都信，不过一旦让他发现你骗他小心你的皮。

巨蟹座
太过善良的只要灯光每气氛佳，对方看起来老实诚恳多点甜言蜜语就很容易上当。

处女座
这个楚楚可怜的星座对任何事情都要求仔细不好骗，但是爱情…唉！情关难过阿！

双鱼座
双鱼座的人太容易骗了，因为他们相信世界上没有坏人。

♥Blogged @

11:36 pm

♥Saturday, 15 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

Yeah! The wkend is here again~! Was supposed to go clubbing last nite but poor yippy was very sick. Hope she recover soon! This wk i spend nearly 50 bucks on online shopping for clothes. -_- i'm going broke already. Most likely got to ask my mum for money to deduct sch fees before oct. Dun like to do tat cos its been a long time since i ask money frm her.
Watched the horror show 1303, the movie sucks..for those who is going to watch it better dun waste ur money. Ending not gd..throughout the show okok onli..not very scary also, i think onli got less than 5 scenes which will frightened u. Or maybe my standard for horror show is too high. Haha..
I haven cried for a long time already. I think i have put what is in the past down cos i saw in his blog that he has got a new gal in his life and i dun really feel sad or cried once yet. Just wish him all the best in his life. What have happened will always remained as a sweet memory for me. So frens dun nid to worry for me anymore and i really thank you gals alot. =) Especially sand and ying who really accompanied me alot during that period. Where has the la bi xiao xin gone to? Gotten married? Haha..
Later meeting my gang of 3 sisters for yippy bday dinner at clarke quay and then most likely clubbing at phuture for after tat or maybe jus chilling out at clarke quay. Its party time!
Posted some pics frm our clubbing trip last wk and one pic frm ST D&D..

Look at my kuku retro outfit for the theme retro night at ST D&D..

Clubbing~~

With the beautiful mirror in the beautiful toilet at velvet dragon..

12星座婚期与终身幸福
牡羊座　　
女－早熟又容易迷恋的牡羊座女性，20岁前后的结婚运会上升。从一见钟情到热恋，然后闪电结婚，成为年轻的新娘。相反到了20岁后半至30岁的适婚期时，看男性的眼光变得严格挑剔，缘份也就淡薄了。30岁后会再出现命中注定的邂逅，看准是他，就会想结婚安定下来。
(means i must quickly find someone to marry before i turn 25...if not i got to wait til after 30..wahah~!)

１２星座的愛情解碼
★白羊座：宇宙的第一星座，深具勇往直前的個性，每一次談起戀愛都是轟轟烈烈，即使毫無結果也絲毫沒有悔意。

十二星座漂亮帅气指数!
白羊座
女漂亮指数：40% 此类女生可能胖了点，又可能瘦了点，但本质是漂亮的
(quite true..i'm too fat and qiqi is too thin..haha)

最想结婚的12星座排行榜
第二名：白羊座希望对方为自己所独占，因此会早婚。

Who different horoscope as me and wanna kno about ur horoscope, do let me kno then i post for u nxt time!! =P

♥Blogged @

10:54 am

♥Saturday, 8 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

Went clubbing with yippy n sylvia last nite..now my ear still blocked!
First went to velvet dragon for free drinks (damn cheapo..hahah!) then after tat move to phuture. Phuture was damn packed..got difficult walking ard also..but we still manage to squeeze ourselves into the dance floor. Everybody is like dancing body to body. So of course i got molested a couple of times by guys. Thats also the fun part mah..to dance with people u dunno and hook rich guys in the process. Haha..in order to reach my goal of being a tai-tai! Though this is the second time there..but find it more fun now..nice drink, great crowd and great music. Cant even bear to leave the place when its quite late already. Bad thing about it is need to waste money to go there everytime cos there is no ladies nite. Anyway still gonna add Phuture to my favourite list of clubs!
Been nuaing the whole day at hme..how i wish i can go shopping but i got no money.. =( Feel like eating botak jones also~~
Another thing is i lose my dearest 6300 hp pouch!i think i left it in the cab when i alight.. *sobz* Y have i become so forgetful nowadays..it is with me for less than 3 months and it is gone again. Lately things jus dun stay with me long and will be gone before i knew it..
I wan to go Phuture again!!!!

你的爱属于哪种模式? (me belongs to A, quite true...)
对待爱情，每个人都有自己的风格。就像简单有效的主动出击并不适合低调的人群，而温婉的爱人往往只被真情打动。测试看看，你的爱属于何种模式呢？　
1、一个同事/同学爱上你，你会因为身份关系去拒绝吗？ No　 -----3Yes　----- 2
2、“相敬如宾”是你追求的爱情吗？ No　 -----4Yes　 -----3
3、分手了以后，旧情人可以做朋友吗？ Yes　 -----4No　 -----5
4、分手时，你曾经求他，挽留他? Yes　 -----5No　 -----6
5、什么时候你会主动中止爱情？发现他永远无法走入自己的心　 -----6客观原因　 -----7
6、你认为主动追来的感情可以长久吗？ No　 -----8Yes　 ----7
7、你相信爱情吗？ Yes　 -----8No　 -----9
8、你分得清爱与喜欢的差别吗？　 Yes　 -----9No　 -----10
9、你有没有过长年偷偷喜欢身边的一个异性朋友？ No　 -----11Yes -----10
10、你最近有看爱情的书籍电影而流泪吗？ Yes　 -----11No　 -----12
11、你是否有失去过自我的生活？ No　 -----12Yes　 -----12
12、你认为婚姻是一种经济行为吗？ Yes　 -----13No　 -----A
13、对于爱情的判断，你倾向哪一点？
有些感情在那时那地却是错的　 -----B爱情没有对　 -----14
14、沉浸甜蜜的爱情中，你会：
时时想到悲剧的分手　 -----15经常幻想两个人的未来 -----C
15、对于爱情的背叛，以下你可以同意哪句话？
爱的底线是不可以背叛　 -----D有些背叛是身不由己的　 -----E

分析结果：
A、痴迷的爱Love底线：对方憎恨自己　　为爱变狠毒指数：★★★★☆
你的爱像崇拜，把对方捧在手心里，含在嘴里。你的爱情是一种期待，你在秋天精心播种下种子，殷切的等待能有棵大树被你种出来。你的爱仿佛水一般，爆发的时候是洪潮雄壮滂湃，柔情是细雨滴滴润物，你的爱渴望被爱。你的爱是痴迷的爱，爱得勇敢，爱得痴迷。但是曾经一位诗人也说过：“爱情是盲目的”。你的爱仿佛也是有这样的悲哀。
B、隐忍的爱Love底线：不定　　为爱变狠毒指数：★★☆☆☆
你总是下意识的把爱当成一种罪过，你的爱的履历于是永远是行走在长着荆棘的山路。心如果没有翅膀，爱就是一种受伤。执着的你伤痕累累，却仍然不肯用弯刀去剜去坏掉的伤口。隐忍的爱终究会像夏天太阳下没人吃的西瓜，腐烂发臭。如果爱得不勇敢，爱就往往成为陪葬。
C、纯纯的爱Love底线：自己的生命直到枯　　为爱变狠毒指数：★☆☆☆☆你的爱仿佛清冽的甘泉，可以治疗无数疾病，是健康的根基。再多的阴谋比不上一颗单纯的心，你的爱简单，没有一丝垢染，仿佛蓝天空中的那一丝白云自由自在。你的爱就是百灵最美的啼鸣，它唤醒良知，它永生。虽然它脆弱，但是它的力量有着绕梁三日的渗透力。
D、大度的爱Love底线：永远　　为爱变狠毒指数：★★★★☆
你的爱始终是那么体贴，你的心永远是先想到对方，可是这样一来，你就变成了爱的守护神，永远回不到爱人的座位了。在你心里，你早就给自己做了一个设防，在你心里你已经准备好不要得到这份爱。因为已经退出战场，所以，做什么都是隔着玻璃墙。好听的说来是大度的爱，说白了，是退让的爱。
E、绝望的爱Love底线：对方生命的消逝　　为爱变狠毒指数：★★★★★
如果说盲目的爱是种无奈，始终带有理智的爱就是种绝望了。你爱得绝望是因为你始终带有一颗戒备之心，你对人性太了解，晶莹剔透一颗心，巧弄玲珑，天生得心思巧妙，三言两语便可以夺城池，雄视四方抑或幕后主导不外乎你这样的人。只是，因为你不能全心的投入爱情，错失真爱，最容易。

♥Blogged @

5:36 pm

♥Sunday, 2 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

十二星座中的极品女人
白羊座
她热情奔放，如同礼花。你不能不为她的笑容而心动。她是单纯却聪颖的女人，她会鼓励你而且之后为你奉上她的相信和吻。

十二星座谁最会调情?
白羊座　
调情天份70分　总能将朋友升华成情人你天生拥有将情人变成恋人的能力!话题丰富,总能够另人发笑的你,懂得赞美对方,用幽默的话语让对方感到有趣,拥有另人难以拒绝的纯真气质,幽默且活泼爽朗的个人特质将使你常能带动周围气氛与热情,豪爽大方的个性跟异性没有距离,即使一开始抱定主意跟要你成为好朋友的男生,最后都会不由自主的爱上你。

12星座狐狸精排名
第十名：白羊座　　
白羊妹妹不太懂得当狐狸精的诀窍。她们通常是任性的随性的，她们对爱情和爱人都很投入，却不懂得攻心术，只因她们总是太以自我为中心，缺少了将心比心的本事，所以，狐狸精的段数级别怎么都高不上去了，只好区居倒数了。

和你最不配的星座
天秤双子巨蟹

星座优缺点大曝光
白羊座
优点
做事积极坦白率真, 热情有活力, 有担当讲义气, 乐观进取有自信, 勇于接受新观念,有明快的决断力, 爆发力强 ,勇于接受挑战 , 不畏权势.
缺点
自我中心太强, 急躁缺乏耐性, 粗心大意, 有一点“臭屁”, 说话欠考虑, 做事瞻前不顾后, 只有三分钟热度, 容易恼羞成怒, 缺乏时间观念, 不懂得照顾身体.

十二星座的性生活
白羊座：主动，热情，占有欲强！

十二星座爱情的未来
白羊座——忠于自己的感觉，一有不对立刻转换跑道。白羊座的人完全忠于自己的心情，所以一旦喜欢上一个人，就停不下来，永远也不放弃。爱情的告白也非常直接，习惯了拐弯抹角的人，可能会被这种态度吓到，反而会退缩。不过，大部分的情况下，他对你这种爽快的个性都能产生好感而接受你，你一谈起恋爱，就会比以前更有活力，好女孩的形象就会更强烈，这也是你的特质之一，就算你的爱情攻势失利，你也不会退缩，还会朝着下一个目标勇往迈进。但是，只要对方稍有背叛的行为出现，不管你再怎么喜欢他，原先的所有感觉都会冷却下来，你连问都不问一声就会掉头离去。

十二星座的婚姻观
白羊座　
强调婚姻生活的透明化当身边好友一一开始唱结婚进行曲时，再想想自己，竟然还没有适合的对象，自怜之感油然而生，这就是典型的白羊座。而一旦决定要结婚时，谁也阻挡不了。因为白羊座的人能坦然面对自己想要过的日子，所以婚姻生活绝对不是闹剧一场。白羊座的人容易跟着感觉走，很愿意对自己的另一半倾吐真言，渴望建立“明朗率性” 的家庭。

12星座爱情臭德行
白羊座
独立：白羊座的人最怕婆妈，与其太贴身的人，所以你一定要表现你的独立性，不要给他烦厌的感觉。只限开只限闭：不要太过管制他，有时还要表现一点冷漠不关心，这样反而他会紧张你哩! 怀疑：他是不能给伴侣怀疑他的能力，他的想法。他是需要别人肯定他的成就。专一：白羊座最讨厌人花心，你一定要令他觉得你只有他一个情人，更加不可以将你过去的恋情告诉他，亦不可以追问他以往的情史。迁就：他的脾气来得快，但去得也快，所以你学会迁就他，就能相处长久。

十二星座女孩的流泪指数
第四名：白羊座
刚刚失恋的白羊女可能会哭着喊着要踢你踹你咬你...不过过不了多久，等事情平静了，她们可能还有“再见还是朋友”的想法呢！(very true for me!!)
眼泪指数：72

十二星座最怕失去的东西
白羊座
最怕失去的东西：勇气白羊座是个乐观向上的星座，他们靠著一股执著的勇气去克服困难，冲出逆境；一旦失去了勇气，勇敢的白羊就变成任人宰割的小绵羊了。

12星座女生排
白羊座:你缺少女人味,活力太過充沛使男孩對你退避三舍.

♥Blogged @

12:11 am

♥Saturday, 1 September 2007

Dear Diary ♥

回憶裡的他
有時候，我們愛著的，不是現實裏的那個人，而是回憶裏的他。初遇時，他的微笑，他往日的深情、承諾和傻勁，兩個人共度的美麗時刻，一一印在回憶裏，今天的感情已經比不上從前，但是我們愛著戀著往日的他，捨不得離開。
一個男人說，在那段雙方感情有如一池死水的日子裏，與他同住的女朋友每天也在他面前翻看他以前寫給她的情信。她很平靜地看那些信，實際上卻是向他無聲抗議。他曾經對她這麼好，他曾經給過她一頁一頁的深情，但是今天他忘了信上的承諾。她故意在他面前看信，是哀悼逝去的感情。她愛回憶裏的他更多。他愛著的，何嘗不是回憶裏的她？

Been busy the whole of tis wk..having headache the whole of today.. =( skip lessons in the morning n sleep til my headache went away. Onli went to sch in the evening for jap lessons at 630PM.
Supposed to be wrking for the wkend as well but gave my shift away cause i jus got so many sch wrk to do.
Ytd was an extremely busy day. In the morning went to OLIP to wrk. It stil feels nice going back there to wrk. Everyone is still the same and there is still so much work to be done. Time passed really fast as i was busy the whole morning. Then afternoon go sch study for 2 hrs then after that went sheraton to wrk. Haha..rushing like hell. No choice..poor ppl jus have to do tat. Maybe tats the cause of today's headache. On the train to sch after finishing wrk at OLIP, i met someone tat i have nv seen before. Onli seen his pictures and he has only seen my pictures before too but we roughly kno each other. Haha..a very interesting and funny encounter.
Wed nite met up with the gals for dinner at NYDC. Poor qiqi was traumatized by an incident on the way to meeting us. For more information on wat happened to her..maybe u can ask her (if she wans to tell you). Feel so sorry for her..so me n yippy bought a small gift to calm down her nerves. Hope she likes it.
Sun was supposedly planned to go ecp for blading with forum ppl but it seems tat it is going to be cancel due to poor responses. Yet stil got another person ask me whether wanna go with him even if the outing is canceled. Still considering..cos i haven finished my assignment which is due on mon. Haiz...lets wait and see ba..

*God help keep me movin some how.don't let me start wishin I was with him now.I've made it this far without crying a single tear.*

*Innocence and time, once lost can never be regained.*

*Life...Life is like a rollercoaster filled with adventure. twist, turns, ups,down, even loops but the thing we wanna kno most is when will it end*

*I would rather be happy, poor and free than miserable, rich, and tied down."
This is what most ppl agreed to but i rather be the latter. Yes, after u been through something, u become superficial, materialistic and that is what i am now.

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