jus got back frm ying chalet..n maybe going out soon again.jus dun wanna waste my day away at hme alone.drank alot n smoke abit last nite..went out for a spin with a guy fren for a while but my frens at the chalet was so worried about me tat they kept calling every 4 minutes to ask me where am i.n they even come out n search for me ard the place.they r jus worried tat something will happened to me given the state i am in because i am slightly high frm the alcohols plus before i went out i did break down once in front of them.i jus happened to doze off n dream of someone tat i dun wan to.n i woke up crying.i did tat the second time when i was in my fren car too.twice was enough for me in a nite.i am trying to stand up but i stil nid lots of time..i may appear alright but my heart is stil wrenching in pain.i believe he has gotten over me becos i believe i meant nuttin to him after the things my frens told me..n after reading his blog i feel tat he hasnt gotten over the relationship before me although he claimed he has when he was with me.maybe i am jus a substitute afterall n i think i dun mind at all.he is jus playing ard although he claimed he isnt.i didnt kno tat after so much love n effort i have put in, i onli get back a trampled heart.how i wish i am her...but i kno love cannot be forced..and wat is not meant to be urs will nv be urs..wishing him all the best tat she will come back to him soon because my heart pains when i c him hurt..but i can no longer do anything to make him forget the hurt tat is residing in his heart..love is like tis..i jus wan him happy..
