earli morning wake up cried in bed..went to shower n cried again.was supposed to be in sch now having lessons but i jus wasnt in the mood to go sch..everybody wanted to accompany me today but i cant meet everybody in one day cos i am really scared the nxt few days i will be alone.tmr i am supposed to register for my 4th yr subs but i haven even plan the timetable cos i really got no mood to sit down n handle sch stuffs.maybe qi...i nid ur help tis time.lending me the timetable u plan.jus feel like dropping out of sch but tat is impossible given the money spent on me by my mother.wats the point of a cert..when u r not happy in life..n the cert might be an obstacle to ur happiness.he once mention tat his parents got ask him whether he feel tat he is inferior becos i am an undergraduate and he is onli a private diploma.does it matter?me n my parents dun mind so y shld anybody mind.my parents jus wan me to be happy..but i dun think i am now.i feel so miserable..tis is the 4th day but nuttin changed.i haven feel better nor forget him one bit.its still like waking up frm a sweet dream.everything is so short..its really like a dream!its so real yet everything is gone in one nite.going out soon to keep myself occupied for the day.feel like drinking to drown my sorrows.i think if nobody is free to accompany me in the nxt few days i will jus go out n shop alone and if no frens is free to club with me on wed i jus might go alone drinking.tis is how desperate i am to get myself occupied in order not to think of the past.i feel like staying at a fren hse n nv coming hme.cos at least when i'm outside i can cry without my family members knowing.when i'm at hme i can onli cry when nobody is ard..in the shower..in bed..
