was contactless for the whole of ytd n i think today as well.didnt go hme.stay overnite at a fren hse n now i am stil there.avoid going online in the evening n nites in order not to c him online n bring back those memories.although my tears have stop but my feelings r numb now.i cannot make myself laugh out loud like i used to or smile anymore..totally emotionless n numb.really really numb.even if i laugh..i dun feel happy laughing at all.n i cannot think anymore..whenever i start thinking..he will be the first in my thoughts.when i'm walking on the streets..all i do is onli stare blankly ahead or on the ground n continue to my destination.like a walking corpse.this has nv happened before n y is this happening to me now.i am starting to think of all the bad things about him tat afterall he is jus playing ard but yet i cant forget the gd things we had.y can he put everything down so easily if he is really in love with me.y can he ignore the state i am in now if he is really in love with me.y can he totally cut off all contacts between us if he really is in love with me.y can he stil stand there so strongly after wat happened if he is really in love with me.i jus kept asking myself these ques whenever i think of him.tis is the onli way out now.
